Confidence

Recently our life group went to serve the families at The Fresno Rescue Mission. We served dinner, cleaned the kitchen, made a craft with the families, and then shared a message of hope at the end.

I love to open up the Word with women, I mean it is truly my favorite thing-to read Scripture and then share what we’ve learned and how it applies to our lives. I was SO excited at the thought of sharing a message of hope with these families. I decided to share this scripture:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

I shared my story of how through the darkest, most trying time of my life (losing my father), I found the LORD. I shared how the LORD used this tragic circumstance to bring me into relationship with Him, to seek truth and find it. He used it to put my hope in Christ alone . . .

As I was sharing this, I felt so unqualified to speak. I mean as I started, I wanted to run out of the front door, terrified. I felt disorganized, unworthy, scattered, like a babbling fool. When it was all over, we played the song “In Christ Alone” and I literally tried to hide behind the piano to lower my head and hide in embarrassment.

When it was over, the women in my group and some from the shelter thanked me and told me that my story was inspirational. I realized on the way home that while I have courage to proclaim the excellencies of Him (1 Peter 2:9), I have absolutely NO confidence!

Confidence: full trust, assurance, reliance

I realized that I am NOT supposed to have confidence in myself! That is how the LORD intends it. He desires us to be obedient, which requires courage at times, but not confident in our self. When we are confident in our own abilities, we can’t be confident in Him. This scripture comes to mind:

“Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” (Proverbs 3:25-26)

I’m reminded again that the LORD continually wants me to rely on myself less, and on Him more. So through this obedience and fear, courage and unworthiness, I realized that is exactly where he wants me. Willing to say “Here I am LORD, use me . . . my mouth, your words”.

I still feel ridiculous about my message. Oh well! I’m trusting that the LORD will minister to those women through His word and my testimony, and confident that He is the only one who can grow the seeds that have been planted. What a growing experience for us all.

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3)

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)