Ladies, Why Do We Do This?

Lately there has been a gnawing, a stirring, a thought that I just can't get over.

And I think I can sum it up in one word:

COMPARISON

Ladies . . . why do we do this??

Why do we feel like if we don't measure up to Sally, Susie, or Sandy then we're lame, less than, or losers?

I promise there is no place I feel more insecure and inadequate than in the kitchen. I feel like to be a REAL woman you have to cook instagram worthy dinners and bake "just for fun".

I don't speak that language. I would be happy eating bean burritos every night for dinner. I literally overcooked chicken by an hour (on accident) 2 days ago and have baked maybe 5 times in my whole life (and by bake I mean dumping the brownie mix in a bowl, cracking an egg, and throwing it in the oven).

Or I get the "Oh you'll see once you have children." or "You can't really understand the love of God until you have children." Really?! Dang. Stuck on junior varsity I guess. And I compare and feel like less of woman because I can't bake or don't have children.

But it doesn't just happen in the kitchen. It doesn't just happen at work, or in the neighborhood, or at the gym.

It happens in church. And this is where my heavy burden comes in.

WHY???

Why do we compare clothes, families, husbands, cars, homes or whatever and let it place value or worth on our lives?
Why do we compare ministries and feel better than or less than?
Why do we compare giftings and callings and exalt one over the other?


And then Beth Moore & Jennie Allen go ahead and write the words that have been stirring in my mind and breaking my heart these past few weeks:

Living Proof Blog
Jennie Allen's Blog

I have felt such a burden lately because I read great challenging books that call me to reject my comfortable, Christianity is just for Sundays, type of life. But then afterwords, I'm not left with a challenge, I'm left with guilt.

When I first heard and understood the gospel, you know what words came to mind?

FREEDOM
GRACE
LOVE

When I'm done reading some of these books, you know what words come to mind?

GUILT
SHAME
JUDGMENT

I have felt such a judgment for living in the suburbs, driving a nice car, and having granite countertops & stainless steal appliances lately. Literally an author quoted that "stainless steel appliances and granite countertops". Why?!?! And the sad thing?? I love the LORD, His word, His people and every.single.day I feel like a "less than" Christian because of where I live, stuff I have, and what I drive.

And I feel broken over this. And I wonder . . . when did that creep into Christianity? When did all the comparison for how to do church, disciple, live, and love start? When did all the slander against Megachurch pastors become okay? When did the stay at home mom in the suburbs who love's her neighbors become "less than" the mom who is doing the same downtown? When did fighting for a CAUSE become more important than loving CHRIST?

And yes, some of this needs to be said. Some of the ways we do church or spend our money is not glorifying to God. There are children dying of hungry every day and we're spending money left and right on stuff we don't need without blinking an eye. But a lot of it is spoken out of pride to slander and cut down others, to feel better about self. I listen to John 17 and hear Jesus praying "let them be ONE" over and over. Because He knows . . . we will be different, have different opinions, have different callings, live in different neighborhoods, look different, and love different. And that's good! As long as we have unity.

We NEED our ministries to look different, in different places, in different ways. I need my friend who lives downtown to remind me of God's heart for the poor. I need my friend who is in the process of adopting her 5th child to remind me of God's heart for the orphan. I need my friend who loves God's word to remind me to spend time abiding and meditating on truth. I need my friend who loves the outcast to remind me of God's love for the marginalized. I need that! But I don't need to take on their callings and passions as my own if the LORD isn't asking that of me. Perhaps my calling is different?

If we all live the same, look the same, and reach the same people how is that carrying out the Great Commission to make disciples wherever you are???

I wonder if there's a reasons God's commands say "Love God and love your neighbor" without a specific neighborhood. OR
"Go and make disciples" without a specific formula?

Perhaps because we as "religious" people love to turn this into (as Jennie Allen would say) the "new legalism". Adding to God's word, expecting other people's walk with Christ to look just like yours, otherwise they're probably not even a true disciple. We play the game of who can be more "radical" and then judge each other and compare.

Man that must grieve the LORD . . . when we are constantly looking at one another comparing and feeling defeated rather than looking at Jesus and feeling humbled and thankful.

I think about the Great Commandment, The Great Commission, and Jesus words in Matthew 6-7 & Matthew 11 and I find rest and peace. I fight DAILY to live for an audience of ONE and beg the LORD to help me keep laser beam focus on Him and His Kingdom. And it's a battle.

So I hope that wherever the LORD has you, you're living on mission. I hope whatever he has you doing (changing diapers in the suburbs or starting ministries downtown) you're doing it faithfully and with joy.

Most of all, let's find a way to stop comparing and competing, and find a way to challenge without condemning and love without judging.

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 6:1)

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:36-38)

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Strange Women: Godly Examples

I read this quote last week and it got me thinking . . .

"Go to church once a week and nobody pays attention. Worship God seven days a week and you become strange!" -AW Tozer.

Would I be considered strange?

This reminded me of a post I wrote a few years ago. It was about women in the bible who were godly examples to me. Women who were probably considered "strange" because of how they worshipped God. They were devoted, Kingdom-minded, servant-hearted, God-fearing, Christ-following women who have inspired me to worship the LORD in a deeper way.

(From the archives):
“Soon afterward Jesus began a tour of the nearby towns and villages, preaching and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom of God. He took his twelve disciples with him, along with some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases.” (Luke 8:1-2)

One day I was reading through the Gospel of Luke and got to Chapter 8, subtitled “Women Who Followed Jesus”. Sounds like nothing except for some reason it just really jumped out at me how the “group of women” was listed separate from the disciples. I was so amazed by this, why were they listed separate? It immediately challenged me to look at Jesus’ ministry with women, and most of all how we we’re different! And oh, what a treasure I found!

I was so encouraged by how women in the bible “followed Jesus”. Some of these women became great Godly examples to me, their immediate response to salvation, or their faithfulness and loyalty to our LORD. I even looked back to Old Testament women, learned from them, was encouraged and challenged. That’s why these women are heroes of the Bible in my eyes-their example has taught me so much about how to pursue my relationship with the LORD.

Mary (Luke 1:26-55)-She rejoiced in the LORD for her gift, even though she knew people would not understand, slander/shame her, she kept her eyes on the LORD and not what others might think or say.
-From her I learned THANKSGIVING and PRAISE even when we don’t understand our circumstances.

Anna (Luke 2:36-38)-She worshiped with fasting and prayer night and day. She recognized Jesus as Messiah when He was just a baby and began praising God for Him and telling others about Him.
-From her I learned DEVOTION.

Mary Magdalene (Luke 8:2)-he healed her from 7 demons, the rest of her life she followed him. She was the first one to see Him after His resurrection!
-From her I learned FAITHFULNESS.

Sinful Woman (Luke 7:36-39)-she anointed Jesus’ feet with expensive ointment, and washed them with her tears.
-From her I learned REVERANCE and WORSHIP-it may cost us much to worship, but it is worth it.

Mary of Bethany (Luke 10:38-42)-she chose to sit at Jesus feet and listen to him teach, to rest, to abide, rather than fill her days with busyness.
-From her I learned to ABIDE, to rest in Him, to take time to listen and fellowship with the LORD.

The Persistent Widow (Luke 18:1-2)-she continued asking the judge for justice and it was granted.
-From her I learned PERSISTANCE in prayer.

The Widow and Her Coins (Luke 21:1-4)-she offered little, but the sacrifice was great. She trusted God would provide.
-From her I learned FAITH and TRUST

Ruth (Ruth 2:2-3)-she worked hard and gleaned each day
-From her I learned the value of HARD WORK-study, read, glean.

The Woman at the Well (John 4:28-29)-she was scandalous, but once she realized who the Messiah was, she left everything and ran to tell people about Him.
-From her I learned EVANGELISM-you don’t have to have everything figured out before you can tell people about our Savior.

These women have been such an encouragement to me. They were not philosophers or leaders of nations (in fact some of them didn’t even have their names mentioned). They were simple. They were simple in faith and faithfulness, yet their stories are so profound they’re recorded in scripture. They are my examples, my heroes. I pray that we would learn from these women, respond to the LORD the way they did, with loyalty, devotion, reverence, faithfulness, and love.

So again I wonder . . . If my story were recorded in history, would I seem strange because of my love for the LORD? Would my story stand out because I stood up for Christ? I hope so, and I'm grateful to have women like this recorded in history who challenge me to do so!

Crumbs

This morning I woke up thinking about crumbs. Thinking about the story in Matthew 15 where the woman begs Jesus to heal her daughter and the disciples are bothered by her.

"And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon." But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, "Send her away, for she is crying out after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." But she came and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, help me." And he answered, "It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table." Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly." (Matthew 15:21-28)

She begs for just crumbs from the master’s table. Do you hear the desperation in her plea? The hope in her Healer? Knowing that she is not worthy to have her request granted, but believing only Jesus can grant her request.


This Caananite woman recognized she was not a part of chosen Israel, the nation that was set apart, she was a dog, a gentile, a nobody. In her humility, she recognized Jesus was somebody.

This woman recognizes that Jesus is the Son of David. She knows He is powerful. She probably doesn’t have all her theology down or know all of the right answers, but she has heard of His healing power and knows that He is the One who can heal. He is the only one who can free her daughter from oppression.

There is humility, exaltation, faith, and desperation.

Our LORD does not require us to have it all figured out before coming to Him. We do not have to be clean, just a confession of being dirty. We don’t have to be sinless, just honest faith that He is the One without sin. It is not so much about how we ask, but what we believe about the One we’re asking. He is waiting to heal, He is waiting to free us from oppression, if we believe. So comforting.

Our God is like none other. In a time when Gentiles were referred to as dogs, and women even lower than that . . . He grants the request of a Gentile woman.

Jesus is inviting His chosen nation to dine with him and they reject his invitation. This woman is thankful to receive just his crumbs. I love that.

Are you thankful for crumbs from the master’s table? Or do you feel worthy of more? Do you understand that He is the only One who can heal, or do you turn to other things first? Do you understand that we are not Israel, a part of God’s Holy nation? But, because of Israel’s rejection, we are accepted. We are invited to dine at the table, grafted in to the nourishing root.

Today . . . I am thankful for being a part of a much bigger story. I am thankful to be grafted in. I am thankful for crumbs.