Undeserving

{A True Love Story}



I love this picture. The meaning behind it.
What it portrays in my life.

A sinful woman, caught. Deserves punishment for her sin.

For no other reason, Jesus stands before her.

A God named Love
Defends her.
Rescues her.

Grace.

She is filthy, ashamed, undeserving, unworthy.

Her response:
To follow her Rescuer all the days of her life.
Closely.
Gratefully.

Worshipping in obedience and thanksgiving.

She was unworthy . . . for no other reason than love,
He saves her.

"For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth." (Job 19:25)

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." (Psalm 18:16-19)

For Someday

{From Trying to Waiting}

I’m studying Genesis for Academy and love reading about the women in the bible. As I’m reading through the stories of our matriarchs (Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel), I see a common pattern. They all have trouble bearing children.

As we learned our first week in Academy, a woman’s ability to bear children was a big deal back then. It was identity for the woman and also, for the man. As I spend time reflecting on the lives of these women of our faith, I am confused, comforted, and hopeful.

I’m confused because from the very beginning, God tells Adam & Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28). Seems as though the multiplying part is really dependent upon God, not them. (Then again, God’s covenant is always dependent upon Him, not us. It will be only because HE is.)

I realize that all of them really had no control over bearing children. In one verse it even says “Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb.” (Genesis 30:22) Not that God forgets, but thinking more like now it’s her time. He heard her cry, He placed that desire in her heart, He ultimately blesses her womb.

We have been trying to get pregnant since the end of last year. We’re not frustrated yet, but just in a place of disappointment. I am so comforted in these stories because no matter how old, how desperate, how crazy it seems . . . God is in control. He opens and closes the womb. It’s His say, His time.

So as people ask us all kinds of questions like if we have kids, do we want kids, why don’t we have kids, can you have kids, etc. my answer has been “We’re trying.”

I think I’ll change my response from “we’re trying” to “we’re waiting.” Like Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel waited . . . I’ll wait. I will wait in faith, in confident expectation, assurance of His character, and hope in Him.

A friend of mine gave me a gift for our first child, a blanket she started knitting when she found out we were trying. She handed it to me with a small card with two very encouraging words written on it . . . "For Someday". So I cling to that. Perhaps not today, not now, but someday.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

“For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him.” (1 Samuel 1:27)

Cluttered

Clutter: to fill or litter with things in a disorderly manner.


Last week I had many things on my to-do list: finish Academy homework, finish my book, work on my paintings, craft, study, pray, rest, sit.

Instead, Sunday came around and I had done none of it! Now for some of you, that’s not a big deal, it happens all the time. I am 100% persister, 91% achiever. I almost never have things on my to-do list that go unfinished. I guess I could say I had a “busy” week but I refuse to use that word.

Being busy is a choice. I don’t like to be busy. I like to be simple. The reality is I wasn’t busy, I just didn’t manage my time well. I had lots to do and instead of doing them, I did other things. I gave myself a little too much “grace” in certain areas. I used my time in a disorderly manner.

I was confessing this to a friend and she thinks it’s because I’m not teaching anymore, I’m just not as structured. I wondered if this is what it’s like to be an energizer? Dreamer?

Whatever it may be, I knew I had just cluttered my week with things that didn’t matter to neglect the things that do.

So to simplify, this week I started with Sabbath-a time of rest and refreshment in the LORD. I started my day with extended prayer, caught up on my reading, and spent some time just being still, quiet, fixing my eyes on the LORD.

Cluttering is easy to do.
Simplicity is easier to live.

The formula for living simply is easy: ABIDE. Keep the main thing, the main thing.

The rest will fall into place (in our day, in our week, in our life) when the LORD is in His proper place.


“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Unnoticed

I took a part time job at the end of July teaching reading intervention to students who are below grade level in grades 1-3. Since I’m not really a full-time “teacher”, I don’t have a classroom. I sit in the corner of a room, by myself, waiting for my students. Some days I don’t even interact with anyone other than my students.

The worker bee in me likes being able to do my job and just leave. But, I am a people person, I like getting to know my coworkers, and chatting with others. I have felt like such an outsider. It’s a weird feeling wondering "do they even notice I’m here?” It has been so strange just coming and going, not knowing if I matter, make a difference, or am even valuable.

It has reminded me of how people may feel going through life. Who am I? What am I doing here? Do I matter? Am I valuable? Does anyone notice me?

OR how people might feel sitting in our big church every Sunday. Who am I? What am I doing here? Do I matter? Am I valuable? Does anyone notice me?

To which the LORD quickly, gently, and lovingly speaks to me . . . speaks to you . . .

You matter.
You are valuable.

Not only are you noticed . . .
You’re known.
You’re chosen.
You are blessed.
You are loved.



“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
(Psalm 139:13-16)

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1:3-6)

All aTwitter

I decided to check Twitter quickly this morning. It’s amazing how these little tweets can spur me on throughout the day to continue to believe on Him.

I wish these quotes didn’t leave a mark on my heart. But, they did. I wish they weren’t so relatable, so true in my life. But, they are. And so I pray through it. Thanking the LORD that He refines, He warns, He examines, He convicts, He purifies . . . and He can even do all of this through others and their tweets.

God uses the picture of physical food to point to universal spiritual hunger. Life is all about what we look to to fill us.
-Paul Tripp
Let me be filled by You . . .



God questions us, "Why spend money on what's not bread and labor on what doesn't satisfy." Sadly, many of us do that day after day.-Paul Tripp
Father . . . that You alone would satisfy.



Backsliding generally first begins with neglect of private prayer. -Mark Driscoll quoting JC Ryle.
Slipping away is subtle. LORD lead me not into temptation . . .



There is no way you will be able to grow spiritually apart from a deep involvement in a community of other believers.-Tim Keller
We need eachother. Let me be authentic, honest, and teachable with my sisters-in-Christ so that I may be encouraged to grow in You.



We never imagine that getting our heart's deepest desires might be the worst thing that can ever happen to us. –Tim Keller
Thank you for not giving me my idols. Oh LORD that you would change my desires to be your desires, holy, righteous, and pure.

Beautiful Feet

“As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" (Romans 10:15)

How often do we gather with others to talk about the gospel? Study the gospel? Learn how to share the gospel? How often do we get our feet dirty, walk outside, and share the gospel?

What good is it to know all about the gospel and never share it? Can we really KNOW the gospel without making Him KNOWN? If we truly know the gospel and have experienced God’s redeeming love, we can’t help but share the good news.

As we passionately pursue God, we should passionately pursue opportunities to share the good news. Sharing the simple truth: He died that we might live. Sharing our story of how we were grafted in. Inviting others to share in our Kingdom inheritance.

Our feet are beautiful when we go. Go and share. Go and make disciples. In your front yard. In the lunch room. At the dinner table.

Walk across. Enter in. Name Him where He hasn’t been named. Get your feet dirty. Beautiful.


"Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." (Matthew 9:37-38)