I don’t usually write about infertility.
Too deep.
Too private.
Too dark.
Too hard.
But then I sit with someone who has shared their journey and I’m comforted. Through their brokenness and their pain, I find hope and encouragement.
And I realize that’s thing with the Body of Christ . . . we’re meant to share our stories with one another in order to encourage one another. We’re meant to enter into each other’s pain to help “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
God does not waste pain. No matter what the circumstance.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
If anything being real and honest in our pain and in our weakness gives the LORD even more room to shine through us.
So . . .
Go ahead LORD Jesus.
Shine through.
We have been on this journey for 2 1/2 of years of trying, hoping, waiting, and longing to have a baby.
We went to doctors hoping to hear good news about our chances of getting pregnant . . . We were told we have a 1-2% chance of conceiving.
We did more tests.
We were hoping that everything is working properly and I found out
I have:
Endometriosis
PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome)
Blocked Tubes
Hormone Imbalance
Tilted Uterus
And I don’t ovulate often
So . . . not one or two things to work through, but A LOT. The odds and complications are stacked against us. I wrote this all down I thought WOW . . .
You would God.
You would let me see all that is “wrong” with me, you would show me how broken and weak I am, only to show YOU ARE STRONG. Only to prove You are the God who is SUPERnatural.
You are the God who is beyond circumstance.
You’re the God who created the Universe.
You’re the God who parted the Red Sea.
You’re the God sustained the Israelites for 40 years in the desert.
You’re the God who comforted Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah in their longing for a child.
And you’re the God who blessed their womb.
You’re the God who created me and formed me in my mother’s womb.
And I long for the day to say YOU’RE the GOD who worked through ALL of this to bless my womb.
So I say . . . GO AHEAD GOD. BLOW OUR MINDS.
I know that OUR GOD CAN.
I know that you have a plan for our family, and whatever that may be, I trust that YOUR way and YOUR plan is better than mine. Should this journey end next month, next year, or different than we think . . . I trust YOUR way and YOUR plan.
And I wait expectantly in HOPE and excitement seeing what you have planned for us.
Love you, my precious friend. Believing the Lord with you! Thank you for the window into the deep places of your heart so we can look to the Lord together!
ReplyDeleteYvonne
DeleteOk, I tried to comment once. Hmmmm. I apologize if my comment ends up posting like 30 times. I am so glad you shared, Melissa. Infertility is the most isolating thing I have ever experienced. Fight that isolation as much as you can. I will be praying for you and Santino. And if you ever want to talk about it together, I would love it. I was once told I had a 1-2% chance as well.
ReplyDeleteJustyn
prayers and love for you my friend. thank you for allowing us to walk through this journey with you and santino. thank you for allowing jesus to shine so brightly through you as you travel this road, because you in turn bless me beyond words. your tender heart and love and passion for the Lord is truly contagious. holding you in prayer and anxiously awaiting to how God gives you the desire of your heart. <3 kim
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. It helps to know that Jimmy and I are not alone in our journey. We will be praying for you both! Melissa Farrell
ReplyDeleteI love you
ReplyDelete