Remember the LORD

Deuteronomy 8 tells the Israelites to remember the LORD, the tests and trials we go through to remind us of His faithfulness. He fulfills His promise . . .

“And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.” (Deut 8:2)

We ought to remember what He brought us through to cling to the HOPE of what He is bringing us to.

“For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. (Deut 8:7-10)

As I approach spring break, a week of rest and time to fill with fun activities, I want to be intentional about remembering the LORD. Remembering why we celebrate this Holy Week, the true meaning behind. So I’m going to remember the LORD daily here on this blog over the next week. I will remember Him, His life, His plan of redemption, His death, burial, resurrection, and His hope.

The journey of remembering will begin tomorrow in
Genesis 1. In the beginning . . . God.

“For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth.” (Job 19:25)

Thanksgiving in Spring

No, not the turkey and stuffing type of Thanksgiving, the lowercase “t” thanksgiving . . . as in gratitude.

My students have formed this awful habit where every time I ask them to do something (okay maybe not every time), they whine and complain. So, I decided to share this passage with one of my students:

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14-15)

As we were reading this verse, I felt terribly convicted over my own grumbling. I am called to do all things without grumbling or asking why as part of my witness to others, it’s how my light shines! I realized (again), here I am trying to teach my kids a lesson all the while God is using them to teach me.

It is one thing to go through trials; it’s a whole other thing to go through trials grumbling! Life happens, things get tough. Even in the midst of it all, my light is still supposed to shine.

BIG reality check, my attitude was not an “attitude of gratitude”, it was an attitude of grumbling. I realized that lately there was much more grumbling coming out of my mouth than thanksgiving. Here I am going through trials, praying about them, and then grumbling.

Do you notice a common word/theme in passages about prayer?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” (Colossians 4:2)

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16)

So in these circumstances that have me on my knees in prayer, I am supposed to have an attitude of thanksgiving, not grumbling?

This was stirring in my heart and then I read the most inspiring blog about gratitude here {www.aholyexperience.com}.

Confirmed . . . tomorrow begins a new time of being intentional about giving thanks. A new season of Thanksgiving . . .

Thanksgiving in spring.

Live in Both

For some reason this weekend, I was thinking about these scriptures. At first glance they seem to contradict each other.

Be like a child . . .
“and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:3-4)

Grow up . . .
“so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” (Ephesians 4:14)

One is saying be like a child, while the other is saying grow up so we are no longer children??? The beauty of God’s word is that these are both true and incredibly consistent with the Greatest Commandment . . .

“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37)

The LORD wants us to trust Him, have faith, like a child. Be easily willing to submit and follow the Father. Love Him with all of our HEART. However, he wants us to be wise and discerning so as to not be easily misled. Love Him with all of our MIND. To be deeply rooted, and yet deeply humbled. To worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

Be like a child . . . love deeply, in humility, in willing submission AND grow up in our thinking, be wise and discerning, to stand strong against schemes of the enemy.

What a beautiful balance and tension to live in!

Live in both . . .

Trusting Him

For those of you who may not have heard, I received a pink slip on March 15th. They cut 257 teaching positions in Fresno Unified because of the massive budget cuts. Things can change, those taxes can pass, but as of now, my job will end in June and I will wait to see what happens. Just another trial on the roller-coaster ride of teaching!

Some days shepherding children (and by children I mean a class full of 8-9 year olds) leaves me feeling, exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotional. Other days, it leaves me frustrated, devastated, and saddened. Then there are a few days when I actually feel excited, joyful, and rewarded!

Teaching is NOT easy. It is not at all what I expected it to be. It has made me well aware of the pressure kids are under to “perform”. It has made me realize all of the “wrongs” in our society that I want to help make “right”. It has shown me how I can teach the same thing over and over only to find out after an assessment they still haven’t learned! (Reminds me of my relationship with our Heavenly Father . . .)

There are times when I am “preaching” to my kids not to quit when things get hard, to have endurance and perseverance. All the while, standing there feeling so convicted because I need to be preaching that to myself! I have to push them, stretch them, nurture them, and discipline them. I can see the end and know the big picture but they don’t. It has given me such a perspective on how the LORD must see us. We whine and complain, we aren’t quick learners, we’re disobedient, inconsistent, difficult, we get off task, we check-out, sometimes we even run off!

SO much of what the LORD teaches me, so much of my sanctification, comes from lessons I’ve learned in my classroom. The LORD uses these children to purify me! ALL 5 years of my short teaching career have been a struggle. Not to say there haven’t been moments of JOY (there have), but it has definitely been a trial. It’s amazing how our trials and struggles teach us more than we can imagine! I am forever changed because of this profession, and these pages in my bible are worn out because of my experiences in the classroom.

These are some verses that have become an anchor for me during my journey as a teacher and shepherd. They have brought me so much encouragement after days when I get their test scores back and they don’t do well or when I have to make a CPS call, or when I feel like the worst teacher and can’t figure out why I’m even in a classroom!

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

I cling to these scriptures because so much about teaching is all about that “number”, their test scores. The LORD continues to remind me that I am in this classroom for much more than “test performance”. While learning to read is important, there are things “unseen” that are happening that He cares much more about. He wants me to be faithful in my job, but more than that He wants me to love these kiddos and shine my light for Him.

It’s hard to believe that I will be packing up my classroom again in just a couple of months. Part of me is so sad to leave. The other part of me feels relieved to have received a “pink slip”. Now maybe the stress and tears can end? Is He closing the door for me in this profession? Does He want me to have endurance and patience? Perhaps the LORD has another plan for me?

Who knows what the future holds . . . I do know that these last 5 years have not been wasted. I have learned SO much about the LORD, about teaching and shepherding, serving and encouraging, loving and ministering.

Trusting for what is to come . . . perhaps it’s just a new school and classroom? Perhaps it’s a whole new path? Perhaps it’s just a year to step back and reflect before continuing on? Whatever it is, He knows ME best and He knows WHAT’S best. He has prepared a path for me and I just want to stay on it, whatever it may be, I know where it’s leading to and so I press on . . . trusting Him.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act . . . Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him . . . (Psalm 34:5, 7)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Confidence

Recently our life group went to serve the families at The Fresno Rescue Mission. We served dinner, cleaned the kitchen, made a craft with the families, and then shared a message of hope at the end.

I love to open up the Word with women, I mean it is truly my favorite thing-to read Scripture and then share what we’ve learned and how it applies to our lives. I was SO excited at the thought of sharing a message of hope with these families. I decided to share this scripture:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

I shared my story of how through the darkest, most trying time of my life (losing my father), I found the LORD. I shared how the LORD used this tragic circumstance to bring me into relationship with Him, to seek truth and find it. He used it to put my hope in Christ alone . . .

As I was sharing this, I felt so unqualified to speak. I mean as I started, I wanted to run out of the front door, terrified. I felt disorganized, unworthy, scattered, like a babbling fool. When it was all over, we played the song “In Christ Alone” and I literally tried to hide behind the piano to lower my head and hide in embarrassment.

When it was over, the women in my group and some from the shelter thanked me and told me that my story was inspirational. I realized on the way home that while I have courage to proclaim the excellencies of Him (1 Peter 2:9), I have absolutely NO confidence!

Confidence: full trust, assurance, reliance

I realized that I am NOT supposed to have confidence in myself! That is how the LORD intends it. He desires us to be obedient, which requires courage at times, but not confident in our self. When we are confident in our own abilities, we can’t be confident in Him. This scripture comes to mind:

“Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” (Proverbs 3:25-26)

I’m reminded again that the LORD continually wants me to rely on myself less, and on Him more. So through this obedience and fear, courage and unworthiness, I realized that is exactly where he wants me. Willing to say “Here I am LORD, use me . . . my mouth, your words”.

I still feel ridiculous about my message. Oh well! I’m trusting that the LORD will minister to those women through His word and my testimony, and confident that He is the only one who can grow the seeds that have been planted. What a growing experience for us all.

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3)

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)