Monday, January 3, 2011

Broken Dreams

I know it’s a weird topic to “start” the New Year with, especially because we are all dreaming big this first week of the New Year! I am dreaming big too, but also reflecting and realized that this blog has become a sort of journal for me, for what the Lord is doing in my life and teaching me. Right now He is teaching me through a study on the life of David by Chuck Swindoll and it’s been amazing! I recently listened to a message on 2 Samuel 7, a lesson titled “When God Says No” and it has stirred some things in me.

David’s dream was to build a temple, a permanent dwelling place, for the LORD. He was full of peace and his counsel said to do it!

"Now when the king lived in his house and the LORD had given him rest from all his surrounding enemies, the king said to Nathan the prophet, "See now, I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells in a tent." And Nathan said to the king,"Go, do all that is in your heart, for the LORD is with you." (2 Samuel 7:1-3)

God's response was no, this is not for you to do.

"But the LORD said to David my father, 'Whereas it was in your heart to build a house for my name, you did well that it was in your heart. Nevertheless, it is not you who shall build the house, but your son who shall be born to you shall build the house for my name." (2 Chronicles 6:8)

In this message, the Lord told David that while his desire was “well in his heart” (it was good), it just was not the Lord’s plan for David.

He reminds us that . . .
1) Even when our dreams are “good”, they’re not always from the Lord.
2) Just because you’re at peace with something, doesn’t mean it’s from God.
3) When God says “no” to a desire of our heart, it’s not necessarily discipline or rejection-it’s redirection.
4) Our response to a broken dream should be cooperation and humility.

This message really spoke to me. I’m sort of there right now! A dream I’ve had all my life, a desire in my heart since I was young, that I’m now wondering if it was just that . . . my dream, my plan, my mission. It’s so hard to discern, especially through such discouragement. There are many things in my heart that I desire to do in the name of Jesus, but I know He has not asked me to do them all. I hope that I am not pushing doors open that He never intended me to open, the same as never opening doors he wants me to. It’s so hard to discern the “no” as much as it is the “yes”.

I don’t know if I’m just discouraged and in need of endurance and perseverance OR if the Lord is redirecting me. Is this a broken dream? Is God closing the door? I don’t know. Seeking that out . . . waiting on Him . . . this New Year. I do know that I want the Lord to be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I want to walk in His ways, according to His word, abiding in His will.

So as I “plan” my new year, my life, I remember that there may be “good” things I want to do in the name of the Lord, but they may not be what God wants me doing with my life. It may be “well that it was in my heart”, but not necessarily his plan for my life. I know he has created and gifted me uniquely, I only pray that I’m using those gifts the way He desires.

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful to be blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing. Sometimes I am so consumed with the details of MY life, and I want to be consumed with the details of YOUR life and the life YOU have for me. I surrender this dream, struggle, and trial to You. I ask that You would make known to me the path of life, for in Your presence there is fullness of joy. Help me to hope and trust in You, abide in Your love and grace, and follow the path You have set before. I desire to be used by You in this world, whatever way You plan for me, teaching or not. You are my Lord, my King, my Rock, my Refuge, my Hiding Place, and Redeemer. Help me to be content in whatever season I am in, whatever path I am on. I am so thankful for the new life and life abundant You have given me. I love You Lord, my life is Yours.

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