I was crazytown this weekend. I mean I'm talking like a full on lunatic who had an entire fight with my husband, in my own head, all by myself, and he had no idea. I'd like to say it was hormones and get some sympathy. And though it probably was, my attitude and actions were not hormones, but choices. I was cranky, psychotic, and feeling now just like an all out terrorist in my own home.
So how does my husband respond . . .
I found these waiting for me last night after life group.
Grace: unmerited favor, giving what you don't deserve.
My attitude towards my husband should've earned a lump of coal or a time-out, not flowers. That's when I realized how much my husband teaches me about grace, God's grace, and shows me Jesus. I know that with the LORD, it's the same. I've run from Him, questioned Him, threw tantrums, and had a bad heart-attitdue many times. But he doesn't respond to me with what I deserve, he responds to me with grace.
A loving husband who gives his wife flowers when she is mean is a reflection (and a fraction) of what Jesus did for us on the Cross. We were his enemies, who mocked him, sinned against him, chose other gods, and yet he says of us "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do". And He loved us through our ugliness, our sin, all the way to His death.
I learn more and more from this man about Jesus every day. I did not deserve these flowers AT ALL. But through my nastiness and craziness, he looked beyond and saw what I really needed . . . love.
And as I think about devoting Wednesdays on this blog to share reflections from what we learned at our marriage retreat, I laugh (and repent) now. I have a plan on Wednesdays to write about what I learned, my husband just does one better and puts it straight into action. So I guess you could say
No, we won't keep score. We'll just show grace. We'll try to out serve each other and take what we learned into real life.
Lesson #1: Give each other grace. Without condition, when the other person doesn't deserve it (or is acting crazy) show grace. It stops you in tracks, leads you to repentance, and encourages you to be a better spouse. I promise.
"But he gives more grace . . ." James 4:6
"And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:2)