Tuesday, February 28, 2012

How Do You Encourage Your Man?

Recently, I've been listening to a sermon series from Mars Hill Church titled Real Marriage. It's based off a book the pastor and his wife wrote to encourage others in their marriage and most importantly in their pursuit of Jesus.

This pastor is known to be controversial, and I haven't listened to all of the sermons or read the book, so I don't really know what to expect, but . . . so far it's been great!

Challenging and encouraging.

The most recent sermon I listened to was The Respectful Wife. I download their app on my iPhone and then listen to a sermon as I do my Saturday cleaning. Oddly enough, this time, I was wanting to listen to the "husband sermon", but the app was funky and I had to listen to the one directed toward wives! Hmmmm . . . ?!?!? Imagine that?!?!?

In this sermon, the pastor mentions how you can encourage your husband and be a helper to him.

Which got me thinking . . . how often do I encourage my husband?
How often do I complement him?
How often do I speak kindly to him?
Thank him for the way he provides?
Appreciate all of the things he does around the home? Little or big?

I think all of these things . . . but does he know?
Do I voice all of the things I'm thankful for, the positive, the good as much as I voice the negative?

And I realized I need to do some repenting.

The pastor said that if all you ever talk to your husband about are the things he does wrong, needs to work on, etc. then he'll begin to think that's all you see in him.

Isn't that devastating? Just as much as our words have the power lift up our husband, they also have the power to deflate.

So what am I speaking to my husband? Words of encouragement? Words of praise? Words of honor and thanksgiving?


Words of defeat? Discouragement? Negativity?


The pastor suggested we go to your husband, with a repentant heart, and ask these 2 questions:

1. How do you like to be encouraged?
2. When/how have I been disrespectful toward you?

And with an open, teachable heart, listen.

So I took a big gulp, swallowed my pride and asked. And his answer confirmed what the pastor spoke to, what I already knew.

Ladies, our words have so much power. Our tone speaks volumes. Nagging deflates, belittles.

But oh how the words of kindness, thanksgiving, and appreciation give life!

So will you (like me) consider ways to encourage your husband? Will you think of ways to let him know he's appreciated? Will you watch your tone and use your words wisely? I am asking for the help of the Holy Spirit to lift my husband up rather than tear him down. For every good thought I have of him, to let him know. Next to my relationship with Jesus, he is my most important relationship and I want him to know that!

Let me know how it goes! And let's pray for one another this week . . . to walk in the Spirit and respect our husbands!

For more on what God's word says about husband and wives, love and respect, and marriage in general, click below:
Ephesians 5:22-33
1 Peter 3
Colossians 3
Titus 2:3-5
Proverbs 31

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